The thunder crackled ominously as the rain lashed down with great force. Trees swayed side to side with the help of the mighty push of the intense wind. In the centre of the dark, stormy forest glowed a weak, misty light. It looked so lonely and sad. The sombre light was coming from a battered and dull caravan. With the strength of the storm, the dirty, wooden caravan rocked violently along with the trees surrounding it.
With windows so dusty it was impossible to see through to wood which was rotten, this caravan looked older than you could imagine. The door-handle was just clinging onto the door. A wheel was missing making the caravan sway slowly, but dangerously, from side to side. There was a tiny hole in the roof and a bucket sat in the corner, catching the wet drops of rain. Wallpaper was slowly peeling off the damp walls of the cramped vehicle. Surely, no human being could possibly be living in such a place?
I like the way you have described the light outside and inside the caravan contrasting them to show how desperate the boy’s situation is. You understood really well the idea of the candle as hope that was then extinguished as the story progressed. I like the way you have shown the physical effects of the storm and hinted at the emotions inside the caravan too.