Dear Agony Aunt,
I have a crisis to sort out: my ex-girlfriend refuses to leave me alone. Moreover, it is like I’m the tree and she is the leaf not letting me go. There is nothing I have not tried. I’ve told the truth, telling her she even makes me sick. Also, I have tried telling her horrible things. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Although I do look gorgeous and am not resistible, I love someone else now. That is why I desperately need your help to save me from that crazy woman.
Yours thankfully,
Demetrius.